A ‘Song of Experience.’..Miscarriage..Abortion.

Miscarriage :
After I lost the unborn child
My life rolled into an episodic disarray...
I did not gather moss
Promiscuous..I gathered arms instead
Sought after love I needed the caress.
The bedlam of abscission deep in me.

Abortion 1

Pregnant again.. a small black child within me
And I had neither the will nor hope to cope
With all of this
A clinic....termination...
And someone brought me flowers
Afterwards.

Abortion 2

Charlie’s child...
Charlie who like to sing and dance
Charlie who fixed the kitchen roof by day
And dreamed with me by night.
His one blind eye as seeing as the next
The child was never born.

I buried all my children in the deepest soil on earth
Down down they went into a nothingness
I dared not think upon
I banished them from me ...
And never spoke of them again.

In recent times I wonder..
..what did I do ?..
A mother...
Slaying her small embryos ... before they drew a breath
It leaves me with an edgy pain.

Sometimes I reach to them and say...
I’m sorry for what I did to you...
I’m truly sorry for what had to be..

But that is little compensation
For either them or me.

Kristine Byrne. 1st Oct.2010